the mouth learns early how to lie a painted sun in a white sky. i fold the note inside my chest; keep going, even if the rest of me has crumbled to a thread. i make the bed, i nod my head. they say, "you look so well today!" and I just smile the ache away. but down the stairwell of the spine, a clock is ticking out of time. no reason big enough to stay, just something small that says, "not today." a cat that needs its dinner soon. a half-read book. a rising moon. no rope, no bridge, no final fall just holding on to nothing at all.

and maybe when my body is rotting flowers will bloom from all the love that i kept useless in my heart.